Counting the Days

I know this may sound horrible, but I am counting down the days until school is out. I'm not even in school, but I am ready for summer vacation! I am ready to do some fun things! I am looking so forward to this summer with my family. I am thankful to be in a place in my life where I am able to enjoy them. Sometimes we can be doing stuff, but not really enjoying it. I found myself in that place last summer. Even though I was home with my kids, I didn't really enjoy it because I didn't know how to. That may sound very strange to some people, but that's how it felt. I loved them, I loved spending time with them, but the moments went by without cherishing them--it was more out of duty than love. Kids can be your biggest chores or they can be your biggest treasure. I notice that I was seeing my kids more as chores, and I didn't like that. When they are chores, you tend to get more frustrated with them or you get agitated quickly when "stuff" happens. So, I made up my mind that I was not going to continue down that path. I had to evaluate why I was feeling that way (usually has to do with something on the inside of you that you haven't dealt with yet), and I began the process of changing my attitude and thought life. Now I have reached a point where I love spending time with my kids, and I am expecting that love to grow and grow more each day. Some days are not as great as others, but I am hoping that the better days will begin to outgrow the not-so-good days. Peace is a much better path than strife. I know because I choose strife for so many years. Peace takes a lot of effort, a lot of motivation. Some days it is much easier to be hateful than nice. The funny thing is, it's still the same life (like getting up, having breakfast, washing clothes, reading the mail, brushing your teeth, grocery shopping, etc.) but it's more enjoyable because it's peaceful. Without the strife, even the small things are pleasures.

--Heidi