Stored Memories

About 2 weeks ago, I was roaming through our digital photos in preparation for an upcoming project when I discovered, to my horror, that some of the files were corrupt. WHAT!!! NO!!! Surely I was not losing some of my favorite memories!!! But, yes, I was. The evidence was there. The question then became, HOW much did I lose?

I immediately began to transfer/upload as many as I could to a new location. At that point I was able to save at least 50%. Then I went and got some extra equipment, and SLOWLY, was able to save an additional 35%. Now I only have 15% left to go, and about 7% of that I am able to duplicate from other resources with some effort. For instance, I lost 90% of Kiahna's 4th birthday party pictures and videos, but my sister still has hers that she took on that same day. So even though the pictures will not be the exact same ones that I lost, they will still cover the same event.

With the remaining 8%, I will attempt to have them "professionally" extracted; though I have been warned that the prognosis is rarely good. I have been able to recover most of the major events, but I do have a video from Isaiah's birth day that is a little sad to say good-bye to. It's the video that captured his big sisters meeting him for the first time at the hospital. It's truly a precious video, and I am hoping that it will be salvageable. I also have a few birthday videos, and a few other special pictures, so for now, I am hoping.

The ironic thing is...a day or two before all this happened...I had been pondering the subject of memories. I was remembering sweet details of each of my children. I was remembering wonderful things about each of them, and I longed to go back for one more moment...just to kiss those cheeks once more, or listen to the silly song being sung, or watch the beautiful dance...just once more. I commented to myself that videos and pictures are wonderful, but the real treasures of all those memories are buried in my heart. The wonderful thing about videos or pictures is that they can take me back to those buried treasures long after my mind has forgotten how to get there.

Sometimes when I watch a video or look at a picture, I want to kick my in-the-past self for not capturing the moment LONGER...or not capturing enough special moments. Then there is also an awareness that sometimes history has a tendency to NOT want to be remembered. Sometimes there are things that I SHOULD forget, and there are somethings that I just WANT to forget. I don't REALLY want to experience labor pains again, or all the times my heart was broken from one thing or another. I love the new born baby photos, but do I really want to experience all the sleepless day and nights again? the vomiting and diarrhea? Then there are the experiences that I created in which I don't want to remember--the ones where I lost my patience, when I said or did things that hurt or disappointed my kids.

Lesson? Well, here is a quote from a very famous guy, "Do not store up for yourself treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

I just need to make sure my treasures are in the right place...